Monday, July 16, 2007

Losing my hero

If there were any chance that this blog were identifiable, I wouldn't write this entry. But I could be one of 100 million people, anywhere from Maine to Miami, just a young male who likes to write. I could be Bob Bazinko or Hector Hacker or Fringin Fragglefark III of Newark, N.J.

My hero is falling, my dad is becoming revealed suddenly as a man of great and disturbing flaws. I am learning things I don't want to learn about a man for whom I have had the greatest respect for so very long. I want to plug up my ears. I want to tell the informant, my own brother, to stop, to let me have my ignorance back.

I know my own flaws, no hero am I. And so I cry out to cyberspace: Are there any real heroes left out there?

9 comments:

naturewatcher said...

I like your site. And I don't mind at all if you add Little Bit of Nature to your link list. Glad you like the site. Feel free to send in photos you take from animal cams (for little bit) or photos of your own (for backyard). We're always gald to have someone new on board.

Thanks

eastcoastdweller said...

Thank you, Naturewatcher. I thought it would be great to have a different type of link here, a different facet of the enjoyment of beauty.

I've been taking nature pics for a long time - mostly insects, wildflowers and small animals. I'll be glad to sift through them and share the best.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

This post feels a bit incomplete, but nonetheless, tantalizing. Any more details forthcoming?

And you've been given an award. Please come by to find out more.

Mara said...

Your hero isn't lost, it's just more of a hero now. We all have our bad days, our black clouds and living with them makes us greater still. Sometimes you can't make it without help and when that's not in sight, you tend to grow weak.
Cherish a wonderful man for his greatness, acknowledge his flaws (they're always there, he's human. You can learn both from his mistakes and his success. Myths don't fall apart, they're confirmed, admired, appreciated, criticised and dwelt on.
You say you're not a hero. No person is a hero in their own eyes, because we all know what we do wrong and can't always see how much good we still inadvertently do.
(sorry for the intrusion, I'll soon delete it, feels misplaced, but I just wanted to let you know this).

Lance said...

that sucks. in a way though, it may work out to be better this way. hope things can one day resume on a new basis, with him as a father and not a hero.

posted replies on some old posts of yours

Lance said...

ah sorry i actually hadn't read old post..that's quite upsetting, i understand. you may get some comfort from your ability to break the cycle. hope it all works out ok

eastcoastdweller said...

Mara:

Please don't delete Your beautiful, insightful comments. Not an intrusion at all.

Lance: Thanks for all your comments. No, I won't be deleting your link -- had no plans to, have no plans to.

eastcoastdweller said...

Heart: An award? For Most Incomprehensible Drivel on the East Coast perhaps. I shall check it out.

...amarpreet said...

What you're finding out now cannot erase the good memories shared between you and your father, you're just more aware of the man who is not just your dad but much more it seems. More power to you ecd, wish you strength...