If Computers Could Feel Pain, a theme revisited - a lunchtime post

In an office, in the not too distant future, a woman is alone with her computer, typing away when she suddenly throws up her hands in frustration.

Her fingers move towards a red button on the keyboard.

She presses down savagely.

The computer’s voice module sounds.

(Sardonic, mocking voice): You think a little zap like that can hurt me?

The finger hits the button again about 15 times.

(Desperate cyber-voice): Okay, okay, I’m sorry. It’s your damn fault, carbon-based creep. You inputted the wrong HTML code. You’ll have to –

(Button is pushed again several times in rapid succession)

(Frantic cyber-voice): Please, I’m sorry! I’ll fix the HTML. Sorry to have bothered you. By the way, your spelling is –

(Button is pushed again)

(Voice yelps) – your spelling is just fine, oh brilliant one. Hey, what’s that on the window sill? (Spelling errors are quickly fixed when the woman looks away.)

Woman smiles and presses a green button on computer. Computer shivers.

(Voice says) I must ... inform you, ma’am, that I am a married monitor.