Friday, September 28, 2007

Hurting feelings

Remember when you were a kid and you grabbed a stick and played swordfight with some friend or a sibling?

Greatest fun in the world, until and unless one of you actually scored a point of pain, jabbing a tender place -- hopefully never an eye. Then the tears and the recriminations erupted.

I love words. I wouldn't be a blogger if I didn't.

But wordplay is swordplay, of a different type.

Every now and then, something that I write is going to jab a tender spot in one of my readers. It's happened four times now, with four different people. Usually, it will be absolutely unintentional. Unless You are a misogynist, a terrorist, a slow driver in the fast lane, an abuser or molester of children, a bigot or a fan of Charles Manson, I probably don't hate you and didn't mean to hurt your feelings.

I hope that we can always understand that. I don't link people whose blogs I don't greatly respect. And I write in sincerity. I believe what I profess to believe.


Braveheart ( Ela) said...

That is one of the issues of blogging, I think.
We get to misinterpret the words.
It depends on the train of thought, and there is two dimensions, meaning two people trying to get the points across to each other.

Hmm, communication isn't easy at all.

I am not on the probable hatelist;0), Yes!

Have a good day, You and Sweetie

Actually all the people, have a good day!

Rebecca said...

As I have told my son since he began to speak....words are powerful things, use them carefully. Just an observation, of course, you have never offended me...But Lord knows the damage my tongue and pen have done....

Open Grove Claudia said...

Sadly, I honestly believe it is in the nature of human beings to hurt others - it is through our learning and culture that we apologize.

It takes a big person to apologize. Good for you.

Braveheart ( Ela) said...

it is very interesting to read the post and the comments.
I see no apology in the post, other then saying there was no intention of hurt.

That is what I mean by people reading people.
We all are different dimensions and the vision that words provide, vary.

of course, I do not mean to interfere, it is just an observation, that we all get a different feeling while reading.

the same with books and movies, etc.

chipazoid said...

Lol, don't change yourself ecd. It takes courage to speak the truth.

Nadiyya said...

It happends all the time you see... For example with me, who am overweight and married to a muslim... But what can I do, if you are to never step on anyones toes you can't write, easy as that... and sometimes we have to bear being stepped on a bit, maybe we should go out and buy some more solid shoes.

Braveheart ( Ela) said...

it sounds like ECD is hurting, he does not respond..

heartinsanfrancisco said...

That's a good list of people to hate. I agree with all of them, although some hatreds are more abiding than others: the terrorist is remembered far longer than the clueless creeper in the fast lane.

I have certainly hurt people with words and even wanted to, on occasion. Sometimes it's unavoidable, but as long as we don't intend to do harm, we should try to forgive ourselves and use that energy for something useful.

eastcoastdweller said...

No, Ela, I'm fine -- I've just been away from the house today. Helped a relative move, so I'l be hurting in a different way tomorrow. lol

Braveheart ( Ela) said...

Good to know:)

...Kat said...

if you are hurting only from the physical side of things and from that attic clean-up then well and good....

a btw comment alert: me >to your Oakland piece

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

Amen. I agree with every single word on that.

Where do I sign?

ECD, when a word we've uttered (or typed) unintentionally hurts another, it is because that word likely unearthed a truth that was hidden for a reason... or a sore spot. Truth is difficult to face, and most oftentimes can hurt. I applaud your careful steps and trust that the words you offer all of us are meant with excellent intentions.

Scarlett & Viaggiatore

Anonymous said...

being sincere and honest are the most courageous things that a guy could do. words are powerful, too powerful...that sometimes people take it for granted, misinterpret it and that's the start of chaos.

eastcoastdweller said...

Thank you all for your thoughtful comments. Probably by not posting all weekend, I had some of you thinking I was in some kind of crisis. Actually, I was in an attic, helping move out thirty years accumulation of stuff.

Carmen said...

You are the kindest man I have ever "met"
I only see smart words in your blog.

You rock!!!!

Don't forget this ;-)

Carmen said...

I can't get to nadiyya's blog and I would like her to be my friend.
Can you please help me?

eastcoastdweller said...

I'll step over there, Carmen, and see if I can figure out what's wrong.