Friday, April 11, 2008

We are strongest and richest, together

A strange, disturbing and fatally-flawed, misconception seems to fester in the minds of some men – hopefully no Women – in this world.

It is in regards to male-Female relationships, in regards to discussions of equality and superiority, gender roles and such.

When such discussions come up online, and in real life, too, a man who declares that Women have made significant contributions to civilization, that They are quite capable of doing anything that men can do and, perhaps, even do it better, is declared to have been “whipped.” He is said to be afraid. He is advised to “turn in his manhood.”

This puzzles me.

The conundrum is perhaps analogous to the typical attitude towards male cheerleaders or ballet dancers. What is a male cheerleader? He is a man who enjoys the close company of Women, who certainly doesn’t feel threatened by Them, and who must indeed be very manly, in a physical way – able to lift Them up with both grace and power.

Yet what is the stereotype of such a guy? As fruity, as Feminine, etc.

Seems to me the strongest, most manly kind of guy is one who celebrates the power, beauty and capabilities of Women. Who is not so weak as to hide behind stereotypes or shield himself from the competition of Female colleagues with a so-called glass ceiling. Who is fully confident of his manhood and does not find it threatened in a way by having a Female CEO, by sharing household duties with his spouse or by, really, anything at all.

Seems to me such a man is the happiest kind of man, confident, strong, living in a world in which Women are not his enemies nor his downcast servants to be “kept in their place” by tradition and brute force. By recognizing Them as his equals, by recognizing Their worth and intelligence, he finds himself daily in a position to be edified, inspired and enlightened.

He might even step beyond that and recognize in his heart that Woman is even, just a little bit, superior and thus he will walk daily in the company of Goddesses – and what could be more pleasurable than that?

Nowhere in these scenarios is there any pretense of fear, is there any emasculation. He is strong, he is happy, he is blessed. His manly strengths and talents pair with the Womanly strengths and talents of the Women in his world, to create the ultimate synergy.

Woman’s strengths, Woman’s gifts, are like fine gold in society’s bank. We would all scorn or pity the fool who stumbled into a cave full of treasure and then walked back out declaring that his own pocketful of pennies was more valuable and he had no interest in adding the cavern’s bounty to his own.

We would also wonder about the man who owned a gallery of fine art but refused to add anything more to it because he insisted that no art in the world could possibly be better than what he already had.

And if I had five dollars and someone offered me five more, would I turn it down?

No, my way of life is not about fear. Not about being a wimp. I am a relatively strong man, I think, physically and mentally. I do not fear the progress and success of Women. I celebrate it, not from compulsion but of my own free and happy will.

To me, it feels like simple common sense.


Janice Thomson said...

I wonder ECD if the problem lies in the fact the some men are terrified that a woman would show him as he really is in some cases - an insecure, not so tough, creature. It seems throughout history that men believe themselves more important for after all was Adam not God's first human creation? And society has always backed this up though nowadays it is in a more subtle manner but nevertheless still there.
This is a very complex issue that has many sides to consider. I whole-heartedly agree that the key word and starting point should be the word 'together'.
Word verification: last 4 letters were 'hugg' :)

eastcoastdweller said...

And so, because they are afraid, they believe that others must be, too.

They require a solidarity in stereotype in order to protect their insecurity from discovery. When some guy dares to break ranks, they are threatened and can only assume that he has defected out of weakness -- because they themselves are weak.

eastcoastdweller said...

As far as Adam and Eve goes, we all know that a rough draft is always drawn up before the final, perfected version.

And I find significance in the fact that after the creation of Woman, God ended His work. He had created His magnum opus.

If being created first is the mark of superiority, then the blue ribbon goes to bacteria.

Rebecca said...

I think it is a little bit of faulty wiring in the human brain that equates difference with superiority or inferiority. Different and equal cannot exist in the human understanding. There are components of human nature that are better utilized by women than men, and vice versa, but even those generalities have exceptions. That either gender should try to aggrandize itself by slandering or subjugating the other is such a waste of time and energy, when we were made to work, live, love and function together, if for no other purpose but our continued existence.