Can platonic love exist only between people who are "completely and utterly unattractive to each other?"
That's lovely Adena's question today, and I don't really have a good answer but I thought maybe someone here would like to post a note on Her blog.
I guess one would first have to define unattractive. To me, it would be someone with awful hygiene and an awful personality as well. Absent those deficiencies, I honestly could probably be attracted to just about anyone Female, sane and breathing, under age 90.
So I'm not a good one to ask about platonic love. (o:
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Adena, on love
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6 comments:
I think we feel strongly about people, some people, for reasons that we cannot understand. Our culture focuses on the sexual as a way of releasing or acting on those feelings. Yet, some times we just love someone - for no reason at all.
Unattractive, hmmmm...
Yes, I agree, please define unattractive. However, "people who are completely and utterly unattractive to each other" could also mean that there's no sexual chemistry between them -- not necessarily meaning either one (or both) is ugly, have yucky hygiene, icky personalities, etc.
Either one (or again, both) can be attractive, yet have no sexual chemistry. But they can love each other as true friends. I think. I hope!
I have platonic love with a great many men. I am attracted to all of them for some reason or another, but, there is not that certain spark which would take it to another level besides friendship. I for one KNOW that platonic love is feasible, workable, and, wonderful...
I believe in platonic love but it is rare and I think is only possible between two extremely mature and driven individuals. I believe that it could be so deep that they would be willing to die for one another but they have different objectives and goals in life which they are passionate about. For example, one may have a passion to study the wildlife in the deepest Amazon and the other wants to live the American dream and have a family. They may love each other but cannot enter into a relationship or marraige because of their different goals.
I think one example of platonic love was between C.S. Lewis and his future wife Joy. As I understand it, their's was a platonic relationship with C.S. Lewis too set in his ways as a bachelor to desire anything more. He enjoyed his freedom and did not want a family. However, when he discovered that Joy may be dying, he married her and one of the reason was to assure her that he would take care of her children. I think it was an example of platonic love turned into sacrificial love. But he later writes about the joy he received in return in entering the marriage relationship, so it progressed to a mutual romantic love too.
Ah, Adena, I'm sorry! I meant to send these smart people and their comments to Your blog, not divert them to mine.
I have to agree with you. I am attracted to not that many men in general. I like them, as friends, but being platonic with someone I am attracted to is VERY difficult for me.
i have one in my life right now... thinking of cutting myself off from him.
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