Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Where bad folk go when they die -- the developer's hell

If I were Dante, author of the famous "Inferno," I would add a chapter on the fate of the loathsome wretches who will someday have to stand before whatever Being created this planet and explain why they spent their lives trying to destroy it.

That would include terrorists, dictators and land developers.

The latter is my subject this morning.

Hell for such loathsome souls will not be a realm of flames guarded by shrieking demons. Flames and noise accompanied their work on earth and would simply bring them undeserved joy.

No, instead they will wander eternally through verdant valleys and lush forests -- without the power to destroy them. They will have to listen to the songs of birds and watch deer nibbling the grass, frogs and turtles luxuriating in wetlands and there won't be a damn thing they can do to them anymore.

Imagine their misery: all that prime, wooded acreage, all that luscious waterfront land, just crying out to be cleared and graded and sold -- but nobody's posting "For Sale signs, nobody's holding rezoning hearings, no farcical county governments are pretending to listen to the concerns of citizenry while secretly salivating over the bribes the developer's lawyers have ready for them in the back room -- and nobody has the key to the bulldozers.

11 comments:

...Kat said...

and the crickets will never for one moment stop their singing and the mosquitoes will not for one moment stop their feeding...

eastcoastdweller said...

Nah, there won't be any mosquitoes.

The idea is that their hell is entirely of their own making -- a hell in a place that most other people would consider paradise.

They spent their mortal lives wantonly burning down forests, filling wetlands, displacing wildlife and laying down asphalt.

Now that power is removed.

As with Tantalus, the temptation and the object of desire remains -- but they are unable to indulge it.

Chase March said...

This should be what we do to these people now. I think if “jail” was an environment just as you’ve described, it might change their attitudes. They would come to appreciate it, or maybe not. Just a thought.

...Kat said...

appreciate this... it is heavenly ... I have been linked to a paradise :-)

Painted Wings... gifts galore

Melanie said...

sweet! I love this.

Ela (braveheart) said...

did you listen to Nirvana when you wrote this? The words from the the post title reminded me of their song.
Have a nice day!

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

Come and pick up your award at my blog.

eastcoastdweller said...

Ela: I definitely had Nirvana in mind for that title.

leslie said...

You are brilliant, Eastcoastdweller. The Perfect Hell.
Reminds me of the book, "Sick Puppy" by Carl Hiaasen.

eastcoastdweller said...

Thanks, Leslie

Molly said...

Love your idea of hell for land developers! And when they got tired they'd have to build a shelter for themselves from fallen branches and twigs, because, in their hell, there would be no bulldozers....Or maybe they'd have to go, hat in hand, and beg a gopher tortoise for the use of his burrow to get in from the elements. And because, by nature, the tortoise is a generous, sharing fellow, he would graciously grant permission, even though he knew that the developer had been guilty, many times, of bulldozing hardheartedly over many of his ancestors' burrows ......