Carmen has recently posted a couple of beautiful photos of Her angel Daughter on Her blog.
They seem to get along well and be quite happy together.
According to popular culture, that's not supposed to happen.
A Girl is supposed to turn 12 or 13 and suddenly hate Her mother with all the fury of a frustrated rattlesnake, until She turns 30 or so. Or so goes the myth.
It seems to me that if a Woman is psychologically healthy, with a love of life and a sense of self-confidence, and She has raised Her Daughter to be that way, that the teen years don't have to be the hurricane and hell scenario that tv sets forth.
This is just based on observations of the very few people I know who actually fit that description.
Any Mothers out there agree with me? Disagree?
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Generation Gap Overblown? Of Mothers and Daughters
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6 comments:
The gap between mothers and daughters is formed only if the mother doesn't relate to her daughter, being too strict, or if she is much too tolerant with her education.
I have found out that the only way a good mother-daughter relationship is established is if respect is a basis, if the mother is a true role-model for the daughter.
Otherwise the daughter starts contradicting her, talks to her girlfriends almost exclusively and doesn't care about motherly advice.
As long as a mother doesn't try to be her child's friend, companion, confidante, but her mother, knowing full well what responsibilities this implies (being an example to her, which is especially difficult as she can't allow herself major slip-ups, so to be a mother means to have a beautiful heart and to be a wonderful person), then she is able to keep her child not only safe from danger, but the child automatically seeks comfort, advice and shelter in the mother, not in the outside.
This is, to me, an ideal mother-daughter relationship.
Only people who themselves have grown and are beautiful souls can have others to follow in their steps and grow alongside them.
Children raised by people who are largely ignorant and don't in the least have the sense of responsibility of a life should NOT have/raise children, as they tamper with the most beautiful part of a person's life and that is a huge sin, affecting more people that we think.
That "beautiful soul" is exactly what I was talking about.
But such Mothers are very rare.
The population of the earth would probably fit into a football stadium if children weren't born to all kinds of Mothers.
My own sweet, wonderful Mother had, and has, serious self-esteem and other issues, and these have been passed down to us as children -- but I wouldn't trade Her for the world.
Generation and CULTURAL gap is what set the tone of my relationship with my mother. As a teenager I was okay, in relative terms. Sure I would sit and stew for a bit but nothing over-the-top then. Most of our arguments came when I became an adult. Two women, both educated and sensible, both independent in nature and both from very different parts of the world. We still banter but not like before, once each other starts respecting the other's perspective a whole other world of friendship opens up. The mother-daughter relationship is unlike anything else. A book I was told to read that I asked my mother to read helped somewhat, called The Mother Daughter Dance.
Sounds like good reading, Empress. Who is the author?
I'll have to search in the pile of books but the author's last name is Harriet. She is a very intelligent woman, PHD and everything! Actually it was a recommendation from my doctor (before he left his practice and handed my file over to an idiot), he also recommended another book by this author aimed for women called The Dance of Anger. I was nodding my head practically the entire time reading this one.
I'll add it to my list. Why not? Maybe when I'm dead and sitting upon my cloud or cooling my brow in the fire pit of hell, I'll have time to catch up on my reading.
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