What I saw

The scenario:

A family gathering yesterday. A male relative, age 25 or so. A female relative of his, not by blood, age 12 or so.

What I saw: Twice in the course of the afternoon, the above male relative smacked the above female relative in the butt (I hate that word!), accompanying the smack at least once with some frivolous phrase -- chicken butt, I think he said.

I am reminded that little things like that can be simple, childish playfullness or that they can be signs of something more, something dark and evil going on when other eyes aren't watching.

I can never forget how in high school we all laughed when several guys surrounded a friend of mine one day and "pantsed"him -- but my laughter stopped when I realized he was crying, and that this was no silly game for him, it was a bodily violation. I failed my friend that day.

I can never forget either, how a few years later, a similar thing happened again, at a different school, butthis time to a girl, a stranger to me. Down came her pants and underwear, right in the doorway to class, in an instant, at the hands of some guy who should have had his teeth immediately kicked into the back of his throat. That time, I knew enough not to laugh, but neither did I have the sense to report the perpetrator. Everybody seemed to feel it was no big deal, a harmless prank. But did she? I never thought to ask.

When is it about just being playful, and when is it about one person exerting wrongful, evil power over another?

It always happens so fast. Maybe the perps do it that way on purpose.

I know a certain family authority figure who could talk to the male relative in yesterday's scenario and warn him not to do it again. Should I bring it up or let it go? I have talked to one female relative, who says let it go.