I'm dangerous tonight

While running the vacuum through the living room today, I sucked up a decorative hanging cloth which nearly pulled down a big plant and which did cause a figurine to take a swan dive onto the ground. I keep the Superglue company in business.

Before I could shut the machine off, the damn thing had almost eaten the whole cloth. Horrible, acrid smoke started pouring out of it and I soon discovered that I had burned up the belt on the machine.

Attempting to extricate it, I spattered the carpet with soot which repeated applications of Woolite have done nothing to resolve.

Attempting to light a candle to clear out some of the burnt-rubber stench, I dropped the lit match into a pile of plastic grocery bags, which could have been a real disaster.

I need to give up and go to bed.