Monday, January 4, 2010

Stupid little boy

Looking back upon my life so far, I see a few moments that make me proud. I also see great heaping piles of things that I have said or done that are at best amusing, at worst simply awful.

Though I feel plenty mature at the moment, so did I then. Six months, six years, six decades from now, some of my thoughts and actions of today may look just as stupid to me.

Wisdom is a will-o-the-wisp, a light ever dancing away into the darkness, never grasped fully by any mortal man or Woman.

I cannot use youth as a carte-blanche excuse, nor mere ignorance. And yet, they cannot be completely exonerated as accomplices.

"Crime is a young man's game," someone noted recently. So, as well, are stupid pranks, the tendency to walk off your job in a silly rage and the acquisition of bad habits that one battles for a lifetime.

It is a New Year. I have made resolutions. I am not of the crowd who refuses to do so because of the likelihood that they will break them. When I stop trying to self-improve, when I give up Death-of-A-Salesman-style on my dreams and determinations, I might as well head for the exit door of life.

I hope that I will be kinder this year, raise my voice less, waste less time, work harder, be better.

But I will surely at this time next year look back upon the annum and still wonder, "What in the WORLD was I thinking?"

6 comments:

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

I like it. Not really resolutions but improvements over a wide front! I too shake my head all the time at all my "stupid little boy" actions that seem to plague me even now! All the best with your self-improvement plans!

Eastcoastdweller said...

LGS, I wonder if Women fret over "stupid little Girl" actions. Or is it just us goofy guys who do the forehead-slap routine?

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

ECD,
There is a saying that within every girl there is a woman but within every man there is a boy. Perhaps thats why we are doomed to have stupid little boy moments.

On the other n=hand, perhaps it is a myth that women like to encourage by never sharing with us their "stupid little girl" moments!

Ah, another of life's mysteries. :)

...amarpreet said...

ECD,

I hope that when you wrote about "a few moments that make me proud" (which you barely elaborated upon) that you thought about the great words of support and encouragement you've given to so many (including myself). That, my cyber-friend far outweighs in value any stupid little thing.

Keep Truth with you, let all else that isn't fall away.

Empress

Eastcoastdweller said...

LGS: Hilarious!

Empress: That is about the nicest thing that anyone has ever said to me. Thank you, sincerely.

...amarpreet said...

You're welcome ECD, never forget it because even though none of us know you in person we all know what you've given and done by way of words!