In Memorium

In Search of Isis is saddened to report the tragic death of Herbert M. Frizenberg, lately of Flatulencia Township, Nebraska. The Unassociated Press reports that Mr. Frizenberg was on vacation in Slovakia when he accidently drove over the border into the Autonomous Region of Amazonia, populated only by women.

No foul play was involved in his demise. It appears that Frizenberg drove off an unfinished bridge after becoming hopelessly lost.

The last person to see Frizenberg alive may have been Amazonia resident Sublima Sucrose, who lives near the bridge under construction.

“We would have been glad to help. But the d$#%^d fool wouldn’t stop to ask anyone for directions,” Sucrose said.

However, upon further questioning, Sucrose admitted that, had Frizenberg stopped to ask her assistance, he might not have received the answer he wanted – or any answer at all.

“Yah, I probably would have told him to take a right, not a left,” she said. “A man should know that right means left. And for that matter, he should have known what I was thinking in the first place without me having to say anything at all. Men!”

Mr. Frizenberg leaves to cherish his memory one flea-bitten dog, one tired wife, and an extensive collection of useless sports memorabilia that she has probably already thrown out.