A memo to the world:
Do not call my office until you have your children under control.
I realize that for some of you, that might involve waiting until they have grown up and joined the Peace Corps, or the police department has arrived to arrest them, but that is your problem, not mine.
Do not call me and then leave the phone hanging while you dash off to administer smacks or snacks to said children.
It is annoying. I do not like to be annoyed. I will probably hang up the phone and harbor some residual hatred for you.
If at all possible, turn off the television and lower the background noise down a decibel or two as well. I don’t like to have to repeat my responses to you because you apparently have Viking warriors pillaging your living room during our conversation. Please appease them or whatever and THEN call.
I am not one of those people who will give you a disgusted look or whisper under my breath if your brat -- er, child -- throws a tantrum in a store. I recognize that most children do throw tantrums in stores from time to time. I will, however, lose all respect for you if you try to end the tantrum by giving the little monster candy or some other bribe, because that just means that your child will be throwing tantrums in stores until he qualifies for a senior citizen’s discount. Sometimes you need to be a parent, not Chuck E. Cheese.
I will also think poorly of your intelligence if you try to blame other people for your child’s crappy behavior. Apparently, there are a lot of people like that in the world. Their children grow up to warm cots in prison, from which they write letters to local newspapers insisting that they are innocent and complaining about their prison meals being too cold and the number of cockroaches infesting the place.
Have a nice day.
Do not call my office until you have your children under control.
I realize that for some of you, that might involve waiting until they have grown up and joined the Peace Corps, or the police department has arrived to arrest them, but that is your problem, not mine.
Do not call me and then leave the phone hanging while you dash off to administer smacks or snacks to said children.
It is annoying. I do not like to be annoyed. I will probably hang up the phone and harbor some residual hatred for you.
If at all possible, turn off the television and lower the background noise down a decibel or two as well. I don’t like to have to repeat my responses to you because you apparently have Viking warriors pillaging your living room during our conversation. Please appease them or whatever and THEN call.
I am not one of those people who will give you a disgusted look or whisper under my breath if your brat -- er, child -- throws a tantrum in a store. I recognize that most children do throw tantrums in stores from time to time. I will, however, lose all respect for you if you try to end the tantrum by giving the little monster candy or some other bribe, because that just means that your child will be throwing tantrums in stores until he qualifies for a senior citizen’s discount. Sometimes you need to be a parent, not Chuck E. Cheese.
I will also think poorly of your intelligence if you try to blame other people for your child’s crappy behavior. Apparently, there are a lot of people like that in the world. Their children grow up to warm cots in prison, from which they write letters to local newspapers insisting that they are innocent and complaining about their prison meals being too cold and the number of cockroaches infesting the place.
Have a nice day.
9 comments:
Yes!
Right On!
and I am so IMPRESSED that you are capable of articulate Rants And Raves as well!
you are a kindred soul!
My, you REALLY had a bad day yesterday. Bless your heart! Well, I will not only send much love, many faery xoxox, but also a big bunch of lovely pink faery dust to you today. Oh, here it comes...~*.~*.~*.~*!!
Well, ALRIGHTY then. While I do agree with much of your, ahem, rant, the tantrum thrown in the living room is no more predictable than that thrown in a store. The caller should definitely offer to call you back later when he/she has regained control of the situation. Sorry that happens to you!
That said, if the tantrum is thrown in public, generally because a parent has said NO to something, appeasing the the child is out of the question. Cart the kid out, he'll scream it out, resume normal activity. To do otherwise is to set yourself up for a world of hurt as the kid gets older!
I really laughed at the line..."I don't like to have to repeat my responses to you because you apparently have Viking Warriors pillaging your living room..."
Very funny.
sooooo funny
Leslie: We are all skraelings in some people's eyes.
Kat: Oh I have a temper, definitely a temper, in the presence of deliberate stupidity and/or rudeness.
Laura: Aaah, aaah-choo! Now I look as if a bank dye-pack exploded on me.
Rebecca: You have the voice of experience!
I think that's the crankiest post I've read.
(I totally agree, btw. :D )
Dawn: Oh, I can be cranky, very, very cranky, if deprived of food, water, rest or my weekend. And in the presence of stupid people. (o:
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