Update

Maybe a ray of light. Maybe. I will know in a few days. I will know if I have dodged, not a bullet but a cannonball.

I saw a guy outside a convenience store last night. Scruffy. Maybe homeless. Maybe not. If I have learned anything from these last few terrifying days, it is just how fragile one's security is. Cannot ever take it for granted.

"What's your story?" I wondered, as I looked at the guy. He didn't ask me for change. Just kept smoking his cigarette.

So easily can it all go away. In the caprice of a boss, in the diagnosis from a doctor, in the twist of a tornado, in a bit of black ice on the highway. You go from being casually content to fighting for your very survival.

I still have not told my Beloved, so long as there is a possibility of hope. No sense in Her worrying at all if the news turns out well. But it is hard to keep my fear and sorrow pent up inside.