Great possibility

Interviewed yesterday. Great place. Great potential. Please, oh please let it be!

So set ...

So set beautiful wreaths, Dika,
about your tresses
plait together the dill shoots
with your tender fingers.
Primed with flowers
the blest spirits of Joy most favor
such occasions:
they shun people who wear no garlands.
-- Sappho, Greek poetess

Quote for living

"There are two ways to get enough. One is to continue to accumulate more and more. The other is to desire less." -- G.K. Chesterton

The job search

Sweetie knows now.

She took the news of the impending job loss with courage and strength. She has reminded me daily that She loves me and She thinks a great injustice has been done.

I am trying to maintain a good attitude here. To work as hard as I can up until the day I leave. What point in being childish and sour, to justify the decision that the boss has made?

I have two interviews set up early next week. They sound promising.

I have always tried to be a grateful person. We've never had great luxuries but I can eat beans and rice for dinner and be happy for it. I can go months without buying anything new, just paying our bills. I'm grateful that my parents raised me that way. Now, more than ever, I will be grateful for whatever job I can find.

Update

Maybe a ray of light. Maybe. I will know in a few days. I will know if I have dodged, not a bullet but a cannonball.

I saw a guy outside a convenience store last night. Scruffy. Maybe homeless. Maybe not. If I have learned anything from these last few terrifying days, it is just how fragile one's security is. Cannot ever take it for granted.

"What's your story?" I wondered, as I looked at the guy. He didn't ask me for change. Just kept smoking his cigarette.

So easily can it all go away. In the caprice of a boss, in the diagnosis from a doctor, in the twist of a tornado, in a bit of black ice on the highway. You go from being casually content to fighting for your very survival.

I still have not told my Beloved, so long as there is a possibility of hope. No sense in Her worrying at all if the news turns out well. But it is hard to keep my fear and sorrow pent up inside.

Screaming in silence

We will not be renewing your contract.

Seven horrible, terrifying, cruel words.

Words I must live with.

I have felt for some time that the new boss did not like me much. I have worked harder than ever before. But obviously, to no avail.

I am in agony. I have told no one. I can scream out my misery here, on this anonymous blog.

Everything I have worked for is in danger. We are one paycheck away from losing the house and the car. How will we eat?

It has taken every ounce of my energy to keep the awful news hidden from my beloved this weekend. To pretend that all is well. Why should I cause her to worry, until absolutely necessary? In a perfect world, I would find a better job in the few weeks I have left until my sands run out at this one, and then I could share the bad news with her but calm it with the good news.

I have not been jobless since leaving college. I am terrified.